The following is a tongue-in-cheek story inspired by The Calendar Girls:‘And now ladies, I will announce the results of the home made preserves cont...st: In third place was Mrs Patterson’s beetroot chutney. The second prize goes to Mrs Hamilton-Smythe with her celery and walnut conserve. The first prize once again is taken by the Reverend Betty Finch with her delicious damson jam.’A ripple of applause rang round the Widebotham village hall.The chairman, Mrs Elsie Rippendale, a relative newcomer. She had slipped one of my T-shirts on and came to me, then kissed both me, Brandy, and Tina who were still on my lap. She made the rounds, kissing everyone who was sitting at the counter or standing across from me, before pouring herself some coffee. Big Tina said, "I have to get ready to go. I have an eight o'clock class and if you don't get there by seven thirty, you sit in the back and can't hear." She kissed my cheek and winked at me, "I'll be back after lunch and will expect some attention. It was my first time off the grounds of the orphanage so I lookedout of the holes in my crate in awe of the changing landscape. The truckstopped after about a half a day and the crate was unloaded and openedand I was led inside a large building and told that I was the only onetoday. There were four men and one woman watching me and others lookedon as I was lifted onto a steel table and my diaper came off. I was cleanedoff and told to raise my rump high. The four men and woman looked at allmy. Efter at havde kæmpet meget med at få min boner væk i går, kom den nu tilbage igen. Efter at blive kølet godt ned gik vi op igen. Vi gik hen til græskanten of satte os. Vi sad der lidt og blev lufttørret. "Jeg skulle havde tisset da jeg var i vandet" sagde Birthe pludseligt."Du kan da bare gøre det her" sagde jeg. "Ej, ikke lige foran dig" sagde hun genert."Du er nøgen, der er ikke så meget du gemmer på alligevel" sagde jeg og grinede. Hun grinede."Du har vel nok ret. Jeg kan da bare gøre det.
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