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She looked at me under the next streetlight and asked, “What’s the matter?” “You know, you’ll probably think I’m terribly old-fashioned, ...ut I’ve never cheated on anyone before.” “Neither have I. Does it bother you that much?” “Well, yes. Doesn’t it you?” “Not so much now. At first it drove me crazy. But then I asked myself, are you married? No. That would be bad, very bad. Are you two engaged? No. That would be very bad too. Are you two really in love? If you were, you wouldn’t be. “Then doesn’t that make me real? If I have the same influence on you as the “real” Jack, then am I not the Jack you always perceive? When you talk to him, are you sure you are not merely talking to me, since I am what you interpret of him? After all, people always create meaning out of things that might not exist, but are you sure that is the case here? If I can touch you, kiss you, and shape your mind the way the “real” Jack would, then does that not make me real?”“Yes,” she murmured again,. " Oh really?"Ted scowled, "Yeah and you don't feel apologetic and apologize when you reprimand someone fairly." Oh."Halfway through the second wine Liz fluttered a hand in front of her face and said it was warm in the room."Remove your shirt." Excuse me." Take your shirt off and you'll feel cooler." Oh. But you'll see..." She hesitated."Of course I will. But that doesn't mean I'll fuck you." Ted please, back off. Now I'm perspiring thanks to you."Ted strode over and squatted in front of. Sounds perfect." Poor Charlie, here, he'll have to eat canned dog food while I'm gone. He's hopeless in the kitchen. I'll have to buy him Alpo in pull-off top cans. He can't even operate a can opener, poor baby." Now, look, you knew when you married me that I was the most inept guy around the house ever created." That bad, huh?" asked my sister-in-law, Judy."Oh, he's hopeless. Can't do a thing. I choose his clothes each morning or he'd be laughed at at work. And cook? Forget it. All he can do.
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