Now I knew only too painfully what people meant when they said that the day you lost your partner part of you died too. I certainly felt like only a s...all part of me was left. I made an effort, I truly did, for the kid’s sake, for our families, especially her parents, who seemed to age 10 years over night. I worked harder than ever, spent more time with the kids than ever and virtually never slept at all. But I was two parents in one now. I needed to be multi talented, able to juggle life,. It was a true void. I was doomed for sure I thought. I was going to be pulled apart until even my atoms disintegrated. For the first time, I could feel my heart pounding erratically in my chest, and I gasped with deep breaths filled with terror. I was traveling so fast by that point that it seemed to take mere seconds before the blackness filled my vision, and I could only look past it by turning my head fully to one side or the other. Or I could face back the way I had come and look back at. As the days went by, it was difficult to put anything away because the house was being worked on. The master bathroom was a major construction — oh my goodness, was it ever! Dust all through the house, a real mess, and I guessed I’d need a crew to come in and totally clean my house before we could think about putting things away. Anything that was not a necessity was left in boxes, including clothes. We’d become used to living out of boxes at the old place for a couple of weeks and now we were. Itne main who aurat phir aayi maine us ka naam pucha boli mera naam chamki hai aur meri beti ka paro. Aap sab nischint rahen aaj main aur meri beti aap sab ka manoranjan karenge. Raat ke theekh 9 baje the charon aur ghup andhera tha humne kubh jam kar pee aur phir khane ki table par pahuche. Chamki boli ki khana to hota rahe ga chaliya kamre main chalte hain. Usne paro ko aawaz di to main dekhta he rehgaya uska gathila badan. Kai hue moome. Uski chuchiya saaf dikh rahi thi. Usne aate he hum sab.
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