”“Yeah, he doesn’t really show it to anyone else. But he was really high on it with me. Then all of a sudden, in the last few days, he’s gone....I mean, he played great last night, but like you saw, something was off with his mood. I don’t know. We’ll see. Maybe he’s having his male period or something.”I chuckled. “Maybe. Probably don’t tell him that, though. Anyway, after these gigs finish up, he’ll probably relax a bit. Cut him some slack.”“Oh, I am, Matt. I’m not bugging him. I don’t even. "Oh. That..." Toby blushed. "It's no big thing, I'm sure. There are bigger out there..." Porn flicks had told him that."Really?" Jean was trying to look at the thing out of the corner of her eye -- without being caught, if possible. "I guess my experience is limited..."Candace, her attention attracted, gave Toby the once-over. "Mine isn't -- he's big, all right." She locked eyes with Toby, "Very impressive! And circumcised, too!" Yes..." Toby wanted to turn around, or run -- or SOMETHING to. ’ I asked: ‘Then why don’t you have those problems with me?’ She replied: ‘I’m not afraid when I’m with you.’ I asked: ‘What’s different?’ She said: ‘I don’t know.’ I asked: ‘Why are you afraid when you are with the other guys?’ She answered: ‘I’m afraid that they won’t like me.’ I commented: ‘Isn’t that our standard fear. That is why we build our masks, our false selves. We hide who we are and what we want and then are totally surprised when we don’t find what we want.’ I asked: ‘Would you be. I knew I would pay for this. It was totally worth it.Cautiously, I returned to my exploratory quest down the corridor. I really didn’t want to. I felt tired. Enduring this shit for so long, however long it had been, had worn me down. I was still shaking, sweat was stinging my eyes, making it even harder to see anything in this shitty, dark, wet cave. I still saw no alternative but to continue. He wanted me to, to test his newest inventions. I wanted to, to check the labyrinth for escape routes.
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