Did I really spend thefirst few years of my life being raised as a girl? I certainly had nomemory of it. But...perhaps some things did make more sense...in thiscontext. From a young age, I was always fascinated by my mother'sthings. The silkiness of her dresses. The stretch and hold of her oldfashioned girdle. The colors and scents of her cosmetics, and theshine and glitter of her jewelry. By the time I was 8, I would takeany opportunity when she was out to put on one of her outfits, andmake up. I knelt beside her, kissing her, licking her skin. She shivered and moaned " oooohhhh..aaaaahhhhh," her hands holding tight to the bedspread. I pulled the back of the dress open wider and moved it down off her shoulders, making it possible for her to take her arms out of the dress. I pulled the top of the dress down to her waist. She was naked from the waist up with the dress bunched around her hips.Trembling with anticipation and need Laura started to roll onto her back, but I helped her up on. "Amas wanted to scream, instead she grabbed the blankets. The Dark Creation provided, so she was not surprised the hermit slept on blankets better suited to a daimyo's bed. After folding them, she placed the blankets near enough for the fire to warm her son. Nodding towards the baby, the hermit passed her a bowl. He handed over another bowl for her. If she were not in the presence of a Dark worshipper, the baby eating healthily would have surprised her. Her son had fussed over food for so long. But, but, but as long as I m alive, I wish we could have been better dad-son. Wish I was stupider. Wish I could enjoy TV along with him, or be there every day making life for him, or I was never born so he could spare the time he spent on me and did what he enjoyed most a more. I will never know.I have regrets, now that he is dead. I had them when he was alive. I think I tried to live his life for him. I backed out frequently allowing him freedom to chose, he didn't.Maybe that was his choice.My.
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