The Mexican maid asks for a raise.The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise.She asked: “Now Maria, why do you w...nt a pay increase?”Maria: “Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze.”“The first is that I iron better than you.”Wife: “Who said you iron better than me?“Maria: “Jor huzban he say so.”Wife: “Oh yeah?”Maria: “The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you.”Wife: “Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?”Maria: “Jor. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead is purely coincidental.This story - from inspiration to final text - is courtesy of my muse and my Lady, Miss Porcelaina Valeriana. It is dedicated to her and her wickedness and beauty.OwnedShe lured me in with the simplest, more direct of invitations. I was at a rather good party while not in the best of moods, so I hadn't really gotten into the vibe of the music or the conversation. All that I had gotten convincingly into was a rather good. "We'll have you over as soon as you get settled. Tracy's dying to meet you and you'll get a kick out of Jerry. He's at the age when kids begin to recognize the difference between their uncle and the dog."We were driving through our old neighborhood and Dave filled me in on the changes that had taken place. "The Petersons added on right before he got transferred to Cleveland. A couple named Newman moved in. You must remember the Harrison family? I'm still cutting their grass after all these. If you need something, just let one of us know and we will try to get it for you. By the way, your room has its own bathroom and there is a lock on the inside of the door. However, I can assure you that you need not fear anything from either of us.’ The rest of the heated food was put on her plate, and disappeared in short order. ‘Sue, let’s go down to your room. That pain medication will kick in pretty soon and you want to be ready to sleep when it does. There are clothes in the closet that.
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