I'm not sure ifit was sage advice passed from generation to generation in our family, orjust that she heard Bob Hoskins say it in an advert and though... it soundednice, but it became her favourite titbit of motherly help all the same.Her second favourite was that "life is like a box of chocolates," soperhaps I should have ignored her.It all started with Eve and her blog that I stumbled upon one grim Sundayafternoon. I really do hate Sundays - I dread no feeling more than thathorrible heavy lurch. Seeing his muscles move, his shoulders bunch up made me shift uncomfortably in my seat. “Oh my god you are killing me here,” I whispered before I could stop myself. This caused him to look back at me and chuckle. After that he made a production of slowly stretching in his seat. He twisted his torso first to the right and held it, then slowly to the left and held it while looking me in the eye. “Two can play that game” I thought and slipped off my flip-flops and raised my left leg and placed. Phew! Then you held your legs back and apart so I could see right up inside you and your bum-hole too. All lovely and glistening wet. Blimey I’m feeling like I want to cum now!”“Calm down then John,” said Harold. “I love all that too, but haven’t really had sex with my wife properly for years – she says she’s too old for that nonsense. So I watch porn a lot; thank god for the internet. I thought I would never experience a blow-job or lick a woman’s pussy, sorry pussy – let alone a ravishing. The tea had an earthy aroma I couldn’t place. The taste was pleasant, but equally foreign. Not from Tetley, for sure.“You make this yourself? Do you mean you grow the herbs?”“Yep. The recipe, the herbs, they come down from grandma. Jonas likes me to have a little before he comes by.” She sipped, while I took a couple of healthy swigs. “Best take it easy there, honey. It can surprise you if you’re not used to it.”We’d been savoring the tea in companionable silence, gazing into the fire, when I.
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