But Diane had cranked up the pressure in me. I could no longer just sit inert, watching everyone else live. I needed to do something, but I wasn't sur... what. Go to bars? I can't talk to boys, and I sure as hell can't talk to men! I knew that I didn't want to get married and have children. But isn't that why people fuck?Still, I couldn't just do nothing. I decided that I had a mission: to discover what ?sex? meant, to me, personally. I was excited and curious, but unaware that finding the answer. Between mother and me we were able to buy a few presents for Christmas. Mom and I knew the true meaning of Christmas, and also knew there was no Santa Claus. We decided to keep that bit of truth to ourselves, because we wanted to make sure Bryan still believed in the magic of Christmas. Many nights I would hear mom crying and knew it was because she was lonely. One day I asked her, ‘Mom, maybe you should look for a decent man who will not treat you like daddy did.’ She just bowed her head and. Placing it on the bed, she nodded toward it.“This is all of it, my mother’s gems and jewelry.” The hulking gladiator quickly and unceremoniously dumped out the bag’s contents on the bed. Emeralds, amethysts, rubies, citrines, and even a few small diamonds glittered in the late afternoon light. There were other varieties of gems also, too many to quickly name, in the priceless hoard that lay before them. The gladiator picked up a silver-chained necklace and stared at the gem dangling below. The. It was around seven in the morning and we dodged a couple of carriages heading in opposite directions.Big Elk spoke solemnly, “Hands.”We followed him around the corner, down a narrow alley, to the back door of the little Chinese restaurant that Autry had recommended. A short, thick man — the only employee I’d seen there — waiter, cook, proprietor — was tied to a chair in the one-burner kitchen. He was unconscious, an ugly purple bruise on the side of his head.Cayuse and I stared — a human hand,.
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