His mother wrote it a week before she died. Why hadn’t she given it to him?Reading it brings tears to Tim’s eyes, followed by anger and confusion... Abbie comes to Tim’s side and puts her arm around him. She pulls Tim to her, kissing his head, as tears are free-flowing now. Tim calms a bit, and Abbie asks him what is wrong?Tim hands her the letter as he continues to cry on Abbie’s shoulder. She reads the letter, actually two times.My dearest boy, Tim,I know it is not long now before I am. I could not help but notice a very handsome Chinese officer standing guard in the middle of the shopping area. He looked about 25 years old, standing proudly in his green uniform. He had a stern look on his face, almost a scowl, as he kept a watchful eye on the shoppers. I gave him the “once-over” from a distance, visually savoring his body from his cap to the polished black shoes he was wearing. The knife sharp crease in his pants made me wonder what was behind his zipper. I needed to find. I needed a shower.Now I feel ashamed, caught red handed. No one saw me masturbating before. Never. It was my secret. Now that's gone.But it felt great, so why being ashamed? I don't know, maybe I took it too serious, maybe it was more than just playing, maybe I needed someone looking at me, maybe I experienced that I am more exhibitionist than I ever wanted to be. Am I a pervert? It bothers me.Will I do this again? I don't know, perhaps. The joy beats the shame. I guess I'll do it. " But everyone will know..." Nobody will know anything," I insisted. "I'm sure not going to tell anyone, and he doesn't dare tell anyone. They'll just think you've been sick." But he'll be there." She was near tears again, and I held her close, her hair cool and wet against my cheek. She barely came above my shoulder."He's been hiding in his office ever since he got stuck in The Program for the week."Neither of us used his name."He's in The Program?" It actually seemed to cheer her up a.
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