So the time came and I drove down to the cruising area in my van, it was a forest with lots of little carparks along the periphery, I arrived at 1:30i...h to the carpark he instructed me to use, even at that time it was probably a third full and it was a pretty sizeable car park. I sat in my van smoking for 30 minutes or so as more cars started pulling in. I took the plunge got out and started to explore. I'd been walking down one of the forest trails for about ten minutes before I'd seen a few. And in my surrender it was as if I began to see myself through Your eyes: a possession, yes, to be used for Your pleasure, but so much more than that. For the first time in my life I saw myself as truly beautiful and desirable, and not just for my body but for who I am, and who I’m continually discovering myself to be under Your care. I was utterly vulnerable and yet completely safe; humiliatingly exposed and yet cared for, even cherished.I wanted to stay in that moment forever, Sir:. She said shewould be going as Han Solo, and Lexie would be Leia. I opened my mouthto protest, but she held a finger up to it to silence me. She said,"Think about it. As far as anyone will know, you are only in costume.Plus if you can really play the girl part well, it could easily clinchthe prize. Not only would we have totally awesome original costumes,but if we can pull off the boy-girl swap thing as well, it would be likebeing in two costumes at once. You get to spend the night as. I'm so sorry to do that to you… To do what I did in front of you… It fills me with shame.''I thought you were beautiful,' Ian whispered. 'You're far more attractive than those women in the films…''But I'm your mother, Ian,' Annette hissed insistently. 'You shouldn't have seen your own mother like that. It's not right, it's not normal, for God's sake.''Who did we hurt?' Ian asked. 'No one,' he answered the question himself. 'I thought you were beautiful and it made me feel good to watch.
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